Ah, what a futile attempt at being creative. Seems everyone else had the same stupid idea. Also, if you must do this, at least get signs with better typography.
I really, really loathe this sign.
They’d been seeing each other for a few months, but it felt like he’d known her all his life. John had never believed in soul mates before, but everything just felt so right with Kate, that he was beginning to think she might be the One. Late one night, as he kissed her goodnight on her doorstop, she put a hand against his chest, looked him in the eye, and said “You’ve stolen my heart.”
"Aw babe, that’s so sweet," he said. "I feel the exact same - "
She cut him off. “No,” she said harshly. Her gaze was cold and steady, and her fingernails were digging into his chest. “You’ve taken something that is precious to me, something that can never be returned. And I will have my revenge.” She flew straight up into the air, turned into a monstrous dragon, and disappeared into the night sky.
He woke up in a cold sweat. It had only been a dream. Or had it? Something didn’t feel quite right, but he couldn’t figure it out. He showered and dressed for work, at the law office that bore his name. Only when he arrived, his name wasn’t there. “Hey Nancy, what happened to the sign?” he asked his receptionist.
"I’m sorry, who are you?" she said.
"Funny joke. I’m John!" he said.
"John who?" she said.
"What do you mean John who? I’m John…"
He couldn’t for the life of him remember his last name.
"Uh, I’m not feeling too well today," he told Nancy. "I’m taking the day off."
She just looked at him oddly as he walked out the door.
Outside the building, he took a few shallow, panicked breaths. He took out his driver’s license and looked at the name on it.
All it said was “John.” There was no last name at all.
He decided to call his father.
"Dad, something weird is happening," he said when his father picked up.
"Who is this?" his father said.
"It’s John, dad."
"I’m your son! I have the same last name as you do!" John was almost in tears.
"I have no son," the old man said in a hollow voice. "I have no last name. And neither do you. You shall have no sons or daughters to carry on your name. Your name and deeds are blotted from the books of history, forever."
The phone clicked.